Stretchy Librarian

Comment by Sydnie

March 9, 2008 @ 9:28 pm

I know when our fourth graders inject their fanciful adjectives into stories it’s like the prose has been stretched with botox. I hadn’t thought about adverbs before. Now that Clark points it out, I do recall laying aside those books that have excessive “adverbiage” describing speech. I quit reading Harry Potter after the second book.

For my adverb hunt, I searched through a little book called, Marshfield Dreams: When I Was a Kid. Ralph Fletcher has put together a collection of short, heartfelt personal narratives about his childhood. They’re perfect examples to share with our fourth grade writers. What I noticed was that Fletcher used very few adverbs. Only one showed up describing how something was said. (”How much?” Mom asked impatiently. “How much is it.”) Others fit in the dialogue because they suited a conversational voice–we’ve heard them in our casual language. I also think Fletcher is purposely keeping the “voice” simple to convey they idea that the story-teller is Ralph, the child.

My heart beat faster as they came closer.

I could feel the eyes of my whole family studying me closely.

I remained absolutely still.

Dad bent down to examine me closely.

Fletcher is describing a game he played with his parents when he was three years old. He pretended to be a statue, which they would “buy”. The above list is all the adverbs in the three-page essay except for two more. What’s cool is that since reading Clark’s chapter about putting the important ideas at the beginning and end of sentences, I can better see the value of the next adverbs.

Slowly, I lifted my chin and looked up, first at my father, then at my mother.
“My goodness!” they shouted. “He’s alive!…Would you like to live with us?”
Shyly, I nodded. With more hugs and kisses, they welcomed me into the family.

I think my perspective on adverbs now, is to decide if they are important enough to lead the sentence or if they disappear in natural-sounding casual language. If not, I might substitute stronger verbs or just delete them as Clark advises.

Comment by Stephanie

March 11, 2008 @ 3:32 pm

Each chapter in Clark’s book brings back the echoed voice of a past English teacher.

Chapter five reminds me of a picky teacher who despised “ly” words in all forms. Perhaps she said, “Use adverbs to change the meaning of the verb,” and my high school self simplified it to mean “avoid the ‘ly’ at all cost.”

Scott Turow, in the New York Time Book Review, uses the adverb sparingly and to great effect in reviewing “The Blue Star,” the sequel to Tony Early’s novel “Jim the Boy.” Only two adverbs appear in the review. The best is Turow’s classification of Early’s novel and others like “For One More Day” as “works that so resonantly reflect the tenor of their times.” The phrase alone makes me want to read each book he referenced. “Jim the Boy” is a wonderful, nostalgic story, and I am anxious to read the sequel.

Next up in my Sunday afternoon reading is the “Houston Chronicle.” Did you know that bread, “like other items on store shelves, is quickly getting more expensive?” The details regarding the increasing cost of grocery shopping made me forget about adverbs and fret about my budget.

Three adverbs stood out as I reread my last piece. It’s about the sanctity of my Sunday afternoon routine—a nap and time to read some of the paper. Two adverbs were “whittled” away. One remained, because my seven year old can “whisper loudly.” That’s the only way he does it.

Each chapter is an excellent reminder of the “nuts and bolts” of writing. I find myself editing all my writing, even mundane email, with the few strategies we’ve covered so far. I’m looking forward to each succeeding chapter.