Write Mind

Comment by tayyba

February 14, 2008 @ 3:57 am

Thank you Pat, for leading this exercise! I would not have picked this book from the shelves, thinking it was just one more of those “writing well” types, which I adore, but don’t have the time for lately. I was pleasantly surprised by this book. The perspective is refreshing and the approach is fun. I didn’t think I would get as much out of each short chapter as I ended up getting - the exercises are definitely structured perfectly for getting the author’s point across.

Moving on to the exercises themselves…. Analyzing some articles from the NYT was an eye-opener. I looked over three items: An editorial, an exciting book review, and a column by one of my favorites, Maureen Dowd.

The editorial made it’s points efficiently and forcefully. And it did that by beginning almost all of its sentences with the subject and verb. Any departure from that format was for very particular reasons.

The book review was “unputdownable.” It used the same technique as the editorial. There is a feeling in these articles of clipping along at a fast pace and making necessary points without fluff. The sentence structure really helps.

The Maureen Dowd article was different. It was full of alternate sentence structures. Either the subject and verb were split up, or they appeared at the end with as much frequency as they appeared in the beginning. But her writing is not boring, and does not trip one up. And here is why. She is a humorist. By adding interesting detail or commentary as a precursor to the subject/verb, or keeping the reader in suspense by giving other details in the middle, she achieves her humorous effects. But, but, but, whenever she does it, she keeps the insertion short! That I think is the key here. We don’t get bored by elongated or irrelevant beginnings or middles. I am even more in love with her now!

As far as my own writing, I discovered something interesting and embarassing. And I am glad I did. I looked at my articles for adults, and for the YA group, and found that I have the tendency to move the subject/verb pair to the end of a sentence to sound more erudite. It’s almost like some people use the passive voice, to give their piece a more scholarly feel. Neither device works - it’s just plain boring.

My young children’s literature pieces did not suffer so much from this issue. That may be because of the drive to keep the sentences short and exciting. In places where I did find a deviation, I realized I was not being effective.

Now that was fun and educational!

Comment by Pat

February 14, 2008 @ 4:39 pm

I learned as much from Tayyba’s commentary as I did from the first chapter! I am packing to leave for Ohio tomorrow but will be back Sunday to post all future comments. Remember, the doing is more important than the talking about what you do, but community is also key for writers. Pat

Comment by lynne

February 17, 2008 @ 5:00 pm

This is a good topic for me to start out with since many of my sentences have the same structure. I’m pretty good at varying the length, but so many of my sentences look like, “He thought…,” “He ran…,” “He fell,” etc. So I’m doing the subject+verb thing at the beginning, but I think this lesson will help me structure some sentences differently yet still keep them readable for the mid-grade audience they’re intended for. I like the examples from Steinbeck, in which he still has the subject and verb near the beginning but has a brief introductory phrase before that, to show the time or place.

I looked at some articles from the front page of today’s Houston Chronicle and noticed that many of the sentences started out like the book mentioned, with the subject and verb of the main clause followed by more detail. I couldn’t place it before, what made some articles easier or more entertaining to read compared to others, but the ones that had the description and detail first and the subject and verb later made me want to skim over them more.

Comment by Sydnie

March 2, 2008 @ 9:12 am

I’ve been reading with parallel intentions. I want to become a better writer, and, as a fourth grade teacher, I want to become a better writing teacher. (TAKS Writing test - March 5, this year.) The chapter about strong beginnings and endings to sentences gave me an “Aha!”

One of the most common slip-ups our students make is to leave off a conclusion to their story. I do a little re-enactment of beginnings and endings by walking in the door after they’re seated. I greet them pleasantly, make casual conversation for a minute, and exit with the line, “Good-bye, Poopy Heads.” Then, I come back in the room and ask them what they remember. I’m sure you KNOW what they remember. The point is that their readers are going to carry away the thing they say last.

When I read this chapter, I realized that the same principle also applies to every sentence. Ohmygosh! That makes such perfect sense. I understand that the stuff in the middle of the sentence is simply “weak” in contrast to what we writers decide to emphasize. At the beginning of a narrative, I still want my reader to know the when and where, but the who and the what (problem) are probably what I’d like to have register strongly in the reader’s thinking. In WHEN ZACHARY BEAVER CAME TO TOWN, the last sentence in the first paragraph starts and ends with, “The red words painted on the trailer cause quite a buzz…to see the fattest boy in the world.” The middle of the sentence cranks up the intensity by giving a time-frame and quantity to the emphasized parts of the sentence. I love it because it makes me read on.

The other realization I had was that I made a huge mistake at our conference. I realized that I conducted all those “mini-lessons” without thinking about how to “end” that sentence for the day. I should have delivered some strong, wrap-it-up comments because that’s what people would have carried away. I wish I could go back and re-do, but, sadly, that chapter is written. You can be sure that I’ll do a better job at the next opportunity.

Comment by Pat

March 2, 2008 @ 9:46 am

Sydnie–

You and I will be doing the same thing on Wednesday–TAKS is aptly close to tacks–both are painful, especially when forced to sit with them for extended periods of time.

Perhaps your not concluding your variety of writing exercises at the conference was serendipitous–your point could also have been that it is up to us to write the conclusion to the exercises, the conference, and our intentions to become writers! By the end of the conference my brain was so bulging with great information and spurred thoughts that it wouldn’t have fit even the most eloquent of conclusions. So–let that go…

Comment by Jane Malcolm

March 19, 2008 @ 8:11 am

Hi, guys–

I’m lurking. Digesting all your brilliant posts, feeling intimidated, and lurking. I am, though, applying the lessons of this book not only to my own writing, but to the infant efforts of the fifth grade class to which I am teaching creative writing.

I just wanted you to know I’m here and paying attention.

Jane